Now I remember why I started writing that last post… I did not even mention the reason at all. I completely forgot, once I started typing. Just once more shows how messed up my mind is.
Well, this is going to be a short one then:
Ken texted me last week about an article that people in my area have the highest masturbation rate. Or whatever. I asked him why he only texted me with things like that. The last time he texted me was about him finding “our” handcuffs we used when we were together. He denied it at first, but then realised that he actually does only text me when it comes to sex.
He then said “in our relationship it was all about sex, right?”. And although it has been 3 years since we broke up and I never truly loved that dude… this fucking hurt. There were feelings involved on my side and he had confessed his love for me early on. So realising he has actually put our relationship down to just sex. It hurt. So I just replied “well that’s not my opinion, but okay”. Him: “well it was mostly about sex”.
I was in no mood to talk to him any longer at this point. He tried to start some small talk, which included “why are you single?”, when he didn’t actually know whether I was.
Just this week I got a message from an unknown number, asking as well why I still was single. Why do people just keep thinking I will never get into a relationship?
Yes, the last 4 years have thoroughly sucked when it comes to love on my part… but that doesn’t mean I may find love myself again some day! And especially my ex-boyfriends should know I am not keen on showing everybody on social media, since I am hesitant for obvious reason that it may end soon again.
That just sucked. And even though it would have never worked out, hearing it was just all about sex… hurts. A lot. And it wasn’t even the first time something like that happened (remember Stan? He’d said I was only good for sex as well). I mean it’s a plus. It means I’m actually good at it *lol* but I’d rather be a good girlfriend, y’know.
That’s all for the rambling. Good night!