First of all: Happy New Year everyone! I spent mine asleep. I went to bed at 9pm and fell asleep straight after. So it was as expected.
I want to update you on a few things that have been bugging me a bit lately.
I actually made a New Year’s resolution for myself, to finally erase Stan completely from my life. Which means, I have started to actively push him out of my mind. Things have gotten better. Way better. I don’t think about him as much anymore as I used to, and when I do it’s usually angry thoughts. But that wasn’t enough for me, so whenever a thought about him would pop up, I’d just actively think about something else. So let’s end things with Stan right here and now. I am done with that f*cker.
Now what I actually intended to talk about in this post,..
I have told you guys about that guy from work, Rae, a while ago. The more people who got to know about it, the less I could forget about him. I was aware that I would never ever even start to date him or that anything would happen. Yet, what happened yesterday caught me quite off guard.
I had been joking with a colleague about this whole situation, when one evening I started to stalk him. I found out where he lives and that he’s – behold… 40 years old. Now that wasn’t so unexpected, I just had hoped he’d be younger. I couldn’t find much more about him, so I left it at that. When I finally left work a few days ago, I couldn’t handle my curiosity anymore and rejoined Facebook. I don’t know how long this will last, as I already hate it again, but I wanted to find out more about him.
I sent him a friend request yesterday. I didn’t really know what to expect, but I did expect him to know my name and therefore accept it.
I was wrong. He messaged me asking who I was, so I told him about being “the poked one from work”. He asked for a picture so I sent one.
Pretty quickly he asked very personal things about me. How many piercings I have (which of course I didn’t tell him about my newest one), about my boyfriends or one night stands and somehow we got to the point that he asked me out to the sauna.
I did get to know that he has a wife at home, he is happily married and he doesn’t mind meeting people from work at the sauna. Wait.. What?!
Yeah, that’s what I thought. I thought he was joking, but he actually asked me quite a few times if I would like to go to the sauna one time and if I did, how I’d react and if he would be allowed to “have a look”. At first I was completely freaked out. But then I was like “yeah, he’s a man, you know”. And as my long-term readers may know, he isn’t the first one to hit on me big time, who is married and we’d end up together (Taylor).
Anyway. So my feeling is, if I really wanted to, I think I could actually get him to do things with me. I won’t, don’t get me wrong. But he seems to be a little too interested for my liking – or rather.. his wife’s liking. He kept saying that he goes to the sauna regularly and that I might find someone there, but that he doesn’t know whether they are single or not. So I was like “that’s not an issue though” to which he replied: “Men should be left alone when they’re in a relationship”
Me: Don’t worry about that.
Him: That’s why you won’t come, right?
Me: Well, yeah, don’t want them to be tempted at all.
Him: No, no. I don’t think so. I guess not. I can control myself.
Note that I wasn’t talking about him at this point, but he said he could control himself. Well, maybe you could not?
And after chatting for something like an hour he said goodbye saying “I will let you know the next time I go, so you can join me.”
What do you guys think about this? I mean, maybe I read too much into this, but to me it sounds a lot like he is eager to see me naked. He did say several times that he wouldn’t mind. But really, boy? He’s 15 years older, we see each other at work. He is happily married. It would be awkward, right?… I don’t want to start anything with him, although I gotta say, I did fantasise about this afterwards. But it has reminded me way too much of Taylor. I just hope that I really have learned from the past.