Guys,… long time no see.
There wasn’t too much to update on, so I didn’t make a post. We’re still at the same page with P. The date I had suggested didn’t go through and the day after when it was his birthday and I wished him a happy birthday, he asked to see me again – playing oblivious. I didn’t react, I’m just done. We talk on and off. Usually after 4 – 5 days one of us will text. Most of the time it’s him by now though. He tries to connect again on some level, but I’m just pretty much done. I tried to be flirty with him last week, that didn’t go as expected.. but then it never does with him. He just made a comment about how he also has forgotten how to make out, which I guess means he didn’t have anyone since me either. But who cares, really?
I think I’m slowly getting over him. I’ve thought so many times before, but now he kind of makes me get angry by his behaviour. I don’t think of him that often anymore, and whenever I do it’s more about the annoyance about his behaviour. I’m not sure if we’ll ever see each other again. It seems like we constantly talk about it, but he just doesn’t get over it. He also only calls it “meet up” anymore, so there’s that.
Then about Mikey. I actually had to read back on who that was, when I started writing that post hahaha. Long story short: I’ve deleted every number I’ve gotten the last few weeks from Tinder. Haven’t heard from any of them, so moving on. No loss here.
What I actually wanted to talk about is Kenny. Yes. Again.
I was on my night shift last night and sent him a snap. He sent one back and we started chatting. I was kind of flirty, I guess partly because I was just upset with how things with P were going and I needed some reassurance. I always get it from him, so. We got to the topic of meeting up again. I told him it was carnival in a week and I might go over after my late shift. He said it would be lovely and “that means I can’t get too drunk”. I asked him why (although I already knew) and he said, otherwise he’d do stupid things again. In Kenny-language that means: cheating on his girlfriend by kissing me. Again.
I don’t know why but I thought he’d changed. Or that the last time he did it, because he wasn’t happy in his relationship. I did not expect him to think like that, now that he’s (seemingly) happy with his girlfriend.
Well I then asked him whether it was about the alcohol, that he was afraid about it and he said “… hmm actually no. It’s about you!” I asked what he meant and he said “well you’re irresistible.. even without alcohol”. I know he wasn’t entirely serious about it, but it was cute nonetheless. And then when I was thinking about it, this seems to be a thing. I actually can’t remember a time we bumped into each other and had a few minutes to ourselves, when he didn’t kiss me… so there’s that.
I’m actually looking forward to seeing him now, not sure how I feel about it in a week though. And I wouldn’t even say no to kissing him, since I’m just so frustrated with my situation. But I also know how I would feel about his girlfriend then. I don’t know. We’ll see.