I really am horrible at this when I’m in love. And I am.
We were able to spend our first morning together, since we both didn’t work an early shift. I went to his house after my shift yesterday and we went to see one of his best friends. We hadn’t seen each other for 2 days by then, since his best friend and father from his home country came over and I was working, so I left them enjoy their men-time. Then he told me that they had really wanted to meet me. Oh well, they will soon enough. Scott also has told his mom now, so there’s that. Plus we’re spending the first weekend together abroad in July, where I’ll meet his best buddy and his godchild. Who are big parts of his life.
Anyway, so we went to his best friends house. I’m always super shy when I don’t know people, but they made me feel comfortable and asked me questions. One of which was, how many kids I wanted. I hadn’t talked to Scott about this yet. We did talk about wanting children, but then that was it (actually after he asked me what I would do, if I didn’t get the job and I said “make babies” and he looked at me like I was an alien haha). When I said 2-3, he looked at me shocked. I really started laughing, because it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to me, but seems to be for him (he wants 1-2).
We then went to grab some fast food and had dinner in bed, just because. Then went to bed and finally slept in (well till like 8am). It was so lovely to not be stressed and be able to lay in bed and just enjoy each others company. We then went shopping and cooked together. Just… couple things. And it felt so natural. I also made a joke about moving in with him in July, because my mom is getting retired and I really don’t want to be home when she’s there all the time. He just said “I wouldn’t say anything against it”, which I did NOT expect at all.
Also whilst we were at his best friend’s house he said to him “so now you can kick M out” (his flat mate) to which he said, he’d love to, but since I’m moving away for 2 years in May, it doesn’t make sense. But obviously he would kick him out, so I could move in, which is so cool to know. It all just seems to be so obvious.. like me moving in once I’m done with my studies, then having family and everything… it’s just so normal to us, without even having to talk about it. Should it always have been that way? I guess so.
He’s said to me last night, it’s so nice to be able and talk everything through. There’s no subject that is a taboo for us, we can talk about every- and anything.. and that’s so nice. I just told him now that it gives me so much security. I usually am super anxious about going abroad or just going away from my boyfriend, just the fear of being left alone. I don’t have this with him. He always reassures me that he’s here and won’t go. That he’ll help me and he always talks about “us”. Never about me, or him. Always us. Like I said I’ll get through with that little money I will get in the new job,.. and he said “we’ll get through”. You know? It’s the little things. Or now that I’ve told him about my job next year, and he knows I’m super unsure about it. He’s said “we’ll get through this!”. He could have easily said that I will get through this. But he’s in it with me, and that’s just so nice to know. He also really wants me to do things, even though they could be hard for him – like going abroad for 2 months. He asked me last night whether I had cancelled my plans already and I said “pretty much”,.. but he really wants me to do it either way. But we’ll see. There’s other stuff I need to figure out.
Everything feels so different with him. Not the love or anything. Just the feeling he gives me. He’s always here for me. Cares for what I think or feel. I don’t even have to tell him, he’s really good in reading me without talking. And that’s something very few people can do and I am so happy that he can. It’s making things a lot easier. He’s also trying to reduce his smoking habits, which is so cute. I hadn’t asked him to stop, but it seems obvious he wants to do it. But I told him I don’t want him to do it for me, but for himself.
Plus. I know he loves me. He hasn’t said it yet and neither have I. But the way he looks at me and sometimes seems like wanting to say something. I know he wants to say it.
I’m so happy.