If Paraplegic is not the one, I will truly give up on men.
I know how ridiculous this sounds like and I am no heartbroken teenager no more, but I am sure of this.
It’s not even about a feeling (as in “you just know when it IS the one”, because I have been fooled by this just a few months ago). Of course I do have the butterflies, but it’s about my head as well. There are so many things that make Paraplegic perfect to me. And I am well aware that I’ve only known him for a month and there will turn up things I won’t like about him. But the most important things FOR ME are ticked off by him. And really… my heart and head match for once. Not sure this has ever happened before.
It just feels so… real – and yet so right. Before, I was always all in – falling head over heels, putting my head faaar away not listening to anything or anyone. It hasn’t happened with Paraplegic. I am well aware of the things not being perfect. My heart does not play tricks on me. My mind can’t fool my heart. For example when he was “rude” on Thursday, my head was giving up. But my heart just KNEW him, and that it was not about what my head was making up, trying to fool me to give up. But then again my head is helping me hold my heart at bay and wait for Paraplegic to be ready. I am so ready to wait another few months if he needs it. I probably would date him for years, even if he doesn’t want to make it official.
I have never been so sure about a person I barely know. About the pureness in him. And I guess that’s what I like about him. Just being able to trust him, because so does my instinct. And it feels kind of freeing.
Of course, it might be one-sided. He might not want a relationship. Whatever may come between us. I know in his heart, he is pure. He is a good person. And even if I wouldn’t get to call him my boyfriend, I’d still be grateful to have mrt such a pure person. And that’s why I trust him so much. That’s why I can tell who to believe (head or heart). I really have never experienced this before and it’s just so….
For lack of better words to describe.