Sometimes the little things start to add up.
Don’t get me wrong. I am happy in this relationship. Even though it might not seem like it, because I’m grumbling a lot about things… I actually am. I have not yet seen any reason to end this relationship, even though it has not been easy at all in the last few weeks.
Today is my birthday. Tomorrow we’re driving to his parents (8hour drive), just because… we have been up there 3 weeks ago already, because his granny wasn’t too well. We had planned on going for a while, because his mom’s birthday was 2 days ago. Now there’s also the funeral to go to on Friday. All of this would not be a problem, but I’m just so done with always going a long way for him, and not getting things in return.
He asked me last week, whether we would drive there from my place, I said yes. He’s been off from his night shift today. At first he wanted to not sleep, when we talked about it last week and I said he should. I always thought he would come to my place afterwards, because he could sleep here as well. Well, it is now 10am, he’s not here and has texted me that he is finally in bed. He texted me a couple of hours ago that he’s on his way home. I already knew that “home” was not here. He never calls it that. And now I’m disappointed. He asked me to take the day off and I did. And now I’m sitting here on my birthday, all on my own without any plans, waiting for him to show up whenever (won’t be until late afternoon, I’ve known him too well for that). And it just sucks.
He’s a good one. He really is. He does a lot of little things for me, that I do appreciate but aren’t exactly what I need. But when it comes to the things I want, I get nothing. And don’t get me wrong, I am NOT angry or anything the like. I’m just disappointed to be sitting at home on my birthday, because I usually enjoy working at my birthday. But whatever. Now gotta get this day done with. Everyone is at work, so it’s not like I could ask anyone to get out with. Whatever.
And birthdays (just like Christmas and whatever) are always hard for me, because it makes it so obvious how stupid my father is (not have heard anything from him in like 12 years).
Happy birthday to me, yay.