Yesterday happened so much, but so little at the same time. It was Alan’s birthday. Ever since we started dating I was dreading that day, because I’m so bad at presents. I don’t usually want to just buy something, but be personal with my gifts.
But let’s start from the beginning. Last weekend I asked if I should go over on his birthday and he said that he had no plans and he would love me to. On Monday night he told me that we’re going out for dinner with his mum and her boyfriend. As you might have guessed from some of my last posts, I was terrified of meeting her. He had told me so much about her disliking his ex-girlfriends that I was worried she would not like me as well. He did try to calm me, saying that if I can hold up a conversation and not do weird things (like pull my hairs out at the table and throw them on the floor – yes, his ex-girlfriend did exactly this), we would be fine.
I was already upset, as I was late because of traffic – that they would have to wait on me. So when I drove up to his house and a bike was following me, I was so annoyed at the driver for not overtaking. Until I realised it was actually Alan. He told me to wait a second and we’ll drive right on to the restaurant.
And that’s what we did. When I parked the car they were waiting by the door and I got even more nervous. We said hello, shaking hands. All good. They asked me questions and everything was good. However I was not able to really hold the conversation up like I usually do. I don’t usually have problems talking to people, even strangers… but whenever I’m nervous I get all shy. But once we were at the table in the restaurant the conversation flowed and I told some stories and they asked me questions and whatever. It’s not like I’d say she liked me a lot, but I also didn’t think that she disliked me.
When Alan and I were back at his place, we were talking about it. He actually said “so you survived the devil, huh?” and I was like: “yeah surviving doesn’t mean she likes me! I wont’ say a word until you tell me what she thinks of me”. He then went on to tell me that if she hadn’t liked me, she would have looked at him weirdly or made some nasty comment when I was on the toilet – which didn’t happen. So we’ll see. I actually really like her personality. Especially in contrast to his dumbass father (who reminds me a whole lot of my own, so that’s why).
His father wasn’t home when we returned, which I actually was really glad about after everything I heard about him at dinner from Alan’s mum. Then Alan asked me if I want to take a shower with him, which was a first. I actually thought he didn’t like to, because he hasn’t asked so far. So that happened. Just before we hopped in to the shower, he went to the toilet – so I took the time to lay out his presents: a 3 paged letter about my feelings, a ticket to the blue man group-show in October and some brownies I baked the day before. He saw the brownies first, which he thanked me for (can’t put my finger on it though whether he likes them or not). Oh and in the afternoon I made a crown for him, because he asked for it. Which I gave to him right when I came home. He was so happy about it, it was really cute.
Anyway, so he saw the brownies and went on to get ready for bed. When he turned on the nightlamp (I had set the letter right in front of it) he looked at it, looked at me and just shook his head (in a good way). I lay in bed when he started reading it and I actually was more nervous than before the first date or every other day. I wasn’t sure how he would react about my confessions. He did smile several times whilst reading it, but you know… Afterwards he cuddled me real hard and said, that he had never received something like that ever before and that he loved it and it was very thoughtful and cute and that he will read it every night from now on. Awww.
So that was a success and I’m just so happy that he’s in my life.