New Year’s Eve caught me off guard

New Year’s Eve wasn’t as bad as I had expected for some surprising turns though.
I was alone at midnight since my mother was already asleep when I came home. I did turn off the lights and phone shortly before midnight as well, but hearing the fireworks, I guess I was still awake then. But who cares really.

But now to the surprises: P texted me. Oh yeah, no actual surprise here. As I said, I had somewhat expected him to send me an unrelated picture for New Year. I wasn’t sure if it would be before midnight, but he did just that. I sent one back and then that was it. I don’t expect to see him on Friday, so there’s that. Moving on.

But then… Kenny texted me. Yes. Always-getting-back-into-my-life-Kenny. We haven’t been in actual contact since his break-up with his exgirlfriend. So that’s been a year. I haven’t seen him on carnival because I was with Alan at the time and didn’t want to get the chance to fall for him again – so I haven’t seen him in almost 2 years. For those of you, who can’t put a story to this name: he’s had girlfriends pretty much all his life, but has kissed me nonetheless whenever we met up. The last time was in February 2016 when he had a girlfriend but we had a huge making out session and I fell for him again. Everything got really messy back then and we stopped contact for quite a while. But that never lasts with us.
Well anyway. Ever since we’ve known each other, this has been an on-and-off-thing between the two of us. So I was surprised to get a message from him last night since I knew he has a girlfriend again. He’s always been in my life, no surprise there… but it always catches me off guard when he confesses his feelings towards me.

So he wished me a Happy New Year and I texted back. We started texting a lot (it was 11pm by then) and I asked whether he’s not out partying with his girlfriend. He said that he was indeed with his girlfriend, but she was already asleep. So we’re back to our old situation. We texted almost till midnight and he has also texted me again today.. so I don’t know. It’s just weird. Anyway.

So he all of a sudden said: “I liked you this year as well and I’ll keep on doing so“.
This really caught me off guard and I said that I like him as well, even though our relationship will always be complicated. So we quickly talked about how we’re always finding back together, even though we fall out on each other.. and it’s true. He’s probably my longest “friend” I have, and although it is complicated, I know when I need him, he’d be there. And it’s nice to know there’s someone out there that loves you in a very awkward way. We’ll probably never have a chance in this life time together, but that’s okay.

Plus he always tries to show me my worth whenever I get dumped again (we’re texting just now and he asked me for my new year’s resolution and I said I want to see my worth and not fight for someone that shows no interest. And he – truthfully – said: that’s not a resolution, this should be a basic). He’s cute. Even though he has done the same to me if we’re being honest,  but he always said that it was not his intention. Whatever, that’s past.

Hope you’ve had a pleasant New Year’s Eve and are happy how 2018 has started 🙂


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