It was good news about Kenny yesterday, right? But I was feeling ambivalent about this. The thing is, around the same time that Kenny texted me – so did Yavin.
I hadn’t heard from him since Saturday night, when he told me he would text me very soon. Then I had no text on Monday… or Tuesday. I did somewhat let my hopes slip away. Deep down I knew he would text me eventually, we were having too much fun together for him just be ghosting on me. But I just wanted to leave him be. Give him some space… and time. And I wasn’t sure how long my patience would stick with me
or if Kenny would be first.
Today it happened. He texted me about a picture on my instagram (he told me not to chop my hair off, which I indicated). We started to talk and fool around. It was like that almost 2 week time-out never happened. I was having so much fun and I realised how much I actually liked that guy.
And that’s when I told my friend “this is gonna end up… in a huge mess!” I had it in my gut. I hate my gut, because it’s usually right. She looked at me like an alien and I said “they’re gonna both ask me out on a date!” Although Kenny hasn’t, Yavin actually has. And Kenny’s admission felt something alike.
was am so scared that I’m gonna have to date 2 guys – which I won’t do, let me be explicit. But I’m having issues, telling Kenny all about my feelings and then starting to date another guy the very next day?! What is this going to look like?! Sure, he’s had way too much time to make it possible before. Too much. But really, am I going to be okay saying no? I’m not so sure. And which feelings are true?!
But back to the story. Yavin and I were texting back and forth the whole day. In the evening he was like “no let’s be serious. Either we’re going to be sexting or go have a drink together and take this seriously!” And I told him the same thing I did a few weeks ago. That he had to tell me a time, and I was totally up for it.
So here’s the exciting news: I’m gonna have a date in a week with Yavin. And I am sooo excited and scared and nervous! We were talking about the same thing as before, me telling him to set a date – as I’m not very busy. Him telling me that he was being very busy, so I told him that I could go over to his city to save him some time. He told me that he didn’t want that so I was like “well, I’m gonna be back at work in March…” (I’m working in the city next to his) and regretting that already. He then said “well okay, then let’s date in March”. I was sitting on the floor at that time and I was so upset with myself for saying that… Until he said “no seriously though, are you free next Wednesday?” Hah! Here we go!
I mean, he could still cancel. Or not talk to me until then. Or whatever. But for now I am very excited to see him!
And I also was so glad that it would be before that party. I swore to myself that Yavin would get that chance, and if we’re not really matching in real life (which I seriously doubt!) Kenny could still get a shot. But for now, I’m gonna concentrate on Yavin.
Am I doing this right? Dating and so forth…? 😀