I’m like.. actually speechless. I was just sitting in front of my phone for a few minutes, staring at the text message Kenny just sent me, and I couldn’t believe what I read. I really am in the worst movie ever. Who even produces shit like that?! And why am I the main character?!
But let’s start from the beginning. He didn’t text me all day yesterday, there was a reason for that: he was asleep till 11.30pm. Yes, you read right. He was out partying and only got to bed at like 2pm. No need for worrying.
We chatted a bit, just casual small talk again. I also asked him if I was bugging him and he just said I would notice, if I did. Just being cute. He then fell asleep and the chatting went on in the morning. He started flirting. Big time. I thought it might be the alcohol, but who knows really?
- Me: I would have rather slept than talking to me, too. (because he fell asleep while we texted) Him: Both of it together would have been great!
- Me: We aren’t allowed to talk anyway. Him: No? Doesn’t matter, we can talk without words :-*
- Him: Thursday wasn’t the worst being drunk. I knew what I did for the whole evening :-*
After the last one, some weight lifted off my heart. I wasn’t sure how drunk he actually was, although I never doubted that he knew what he was doing either.
He was being cute. Very cute indeed. I really liked that flirty side of him. He knows how to be cute. Always has. I pushed the thought about the girlfriend far far away.
But then things got out of hand… or rather, his true face surfaced:
I was saying something like “don’t laugh your ass off”.
Him: Yes, your ass is great indeed ❤ I touched it!
Me: I know, I was there.
Him: Yeah.. I would have loved to f*** you right there (he didn’t actually word it that way, but there’s no real translation to that sentence we use in my mother tongue – he didn’t use the word f*** but it is pretty clear what he means).
Me: you shouldn’t do such things 🙂
Him: “Should”… you’re dead one day anyway, so just do whatever.
So there’s my proof. The girlfriend probably is still ‘active’, they will stay together and he just doesn’t care about faithfulness. He probably doesn’t even give one single shit about me, as long as he gets to f*ck me and have a little fun on the side. I feel like literal shit. I knew things could turn out that way, so why did I keep telling myself he might actually like me and care about me? I do not know. Everything was pointing into that direction – just a little fun with an old friend. I mean he said it right there “go or something bad will happen”, I knew he wanted sex. I knew he wanted it when he kissed me and got a little more ‘forceful’. I did think about the sex, but the remorse was way too big – on my side at least.
So why am I so shocked? I think it’s actually the wording. Just the casuality that he just wanted sex and should is not a word to be treasured in life, because YOLO (or that’s what I’m reading into it anyway)
Really, I don’t even know what to say or think anymore. Why do I keep meeting these kind of people? Why?