beach date

I don’t think I have told you guys that Stan asked me out again, right? Well he did ask me somewhen this week and we went to the beach yesterday evening (after him fooling me for the billionth time.. saying he was 1.5 hours early at my house). I was really excited to see him again, didn’t know what to expect exactly though.. I mean we have talked a lot and gotten closer and he kept saying how much he wishes to cuddle with me.. so I did somehow imagine where this date would lead.

He picked me up at 7pm and we went to the beach. We talked.. and talked.. and talked.. I did realise he wanted to cuddle, but I just sat on the towel and didn’t react to anything, because I wanted HIM to take that step. Well after some time he did lie on my stomach and complimented on how “soft” I was, well yeah.. thanks.. I guess? We talked some more and at some point I was saying something like “I didn’t realise you were turning 32 this year, I thought your birthday was already over.” At first he was just silent which I found weird, then he said “maybe I’m not turning 32 at all?”. It confused me a lot. So he then added “what if I am not turning 32?.. you said that I look like 26…” so my mind was racing with questions like ‘well but if he’s 26 he’d have had his child very young… and it would suck for him to be as old as me.. yet again!’.. what he then said I did not expect at all.. He was even older. He will turn 35 this year, so he’s 10 years older than me. I don’t really care, I just asked him why he would lie about his age on badoo, so he explained about how people were making fun of him for not looking like 35.
I then jokingly said “are there any more secrets I need to know?” he then hesitated and I knew there would be more to come. I didn’t know whether to ask for it or not.. is it better to know what I was getting myself into right from the beginning or letting the shock of the age set in first…? Well, I asked for it. Turns out he has another child with another woman he has no contact with though. So I’m currently dating a 10 year older man, who has 2 boys already. Go me!

Anyway. I wasn’t too upset about it actually. I still don’t know why, I guess I just have gotten very tolerant since I changed my job. So we talked some more and whilst he was lying on my belly I stroked his hair. At some point I had a cramp in my calve and he started to massage it, which I found very cute. I liked being near him, feeling him on me. By then I knew that he would kiss me.. well I didn’t know it because a lot of times when there was a chance and he didn’t, I started to question it again. But in the end he did kiss me. I’m not sure why, I did say something and he looked at me and quickly gave me a snog. He didn’t look at me afterwards, which felt really awkward… but well it didn’t take long until we really kissed each other. And I was relieved. Relieved that the situation with Dodo didn’t repeat. Because I loved how he kissed me. He wasn’t pushy at all, he let me decide the pace.

It was around probably 11pm by then, I’m not sure. Always in the back of my mind that I had to get up at 5.30am the next day, but I just really enjoyed myself. We cuddled a lot and at some point he said he was really glad I didn’t run away, like I said I would. He also did start to touch my boobs at some point, which also reminded me of Dodo and how much I disliked the feeling of it, whilst I really loved it with Stan. Yet it was too quick for me so I asked about him being shy (like he told me). He then asked what I was talking about and I said that “I have my principles” and he kept asking what I was talking about so I said that I don’t let men get too close to me that quickly. He once more got quiet so I asked what he was thinking about and he said that there’s something about him. That he can like a girl as much as he wants, but if she’s behaving “cheap” (as in letting everyone get into her pants) he will not want her. I’m not sure if he’s glad that I reacted like this, or if it was too much already.. but oh well, he’s still talking to me so I guess it was okay.

At 12.30am I told him to get me home so I could at least get a few hours of sleep… then we had a flat tire. At first I thought he was fooling me once more, trying to get more time with me.. but he really didn’t. Fortunately, he knew how to change it himself and it didn’t even take him too long. And yes, I really liked him being so handy about it. When we were finally by my house again (it was 1.15am by then), we hugged and he said how much he enjoyed the evening and was hoping to see me soon again. He also texted me again when he was home “Sleep well. I really enjoyed it with you.. and whatever it is between the two of us.. my fate has my vote, that I won’t let you get out of my life so soon again… or you would have to be completely different than what I have gotten to know yet”.
I am not going to get myself under pressure again with a relationship. I just really enjoyed that evening and hope to get another one very soon. I am now getting to bed early, as I only got 3.5 hours of sleep last night. Worth it though.

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